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Berkin' it UP!

  • Aug. 2nd, 2009 at 9:49 PM
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Exciting times around here! I'm working on the next round of copy-edits for DARK DAYS while also waiting for my very pregnant wife to deliver any day. Rachel Hawkins mentioned on Twitter that it would be quite a sitcom scene if I was copy-editing frantically in the maternity ward, pencil in my teeth, papers flying everywhere, etc. while trying to catch a baby. Then we realized that if my life were a sitcom it would be called "Berkin' It UP" and Rachel would be my next-door neighbor who I fought with all the time. Shenanigoats would ensue.

This is (fictional) Hollywood, so in the sitcom I'm a big-city writer who moves to the suburbs looking for peace and quiet. What do I find? My arch nemesis writer had the same exact idea & now lives next door! I yell "Haaawkins" at her all the time. Trish Doller had the very fine idea that she (and her border collie) could be my other neighbors -- she's a slacker who always drops in to eat my food while I'm working on a deadline. Indeed, more shenanigoats.

So then my wife & I decided to record the theme song to Berkin' It UP! It came out pretty good. We were inspired by the greatest TV song ever, the theme to 1981's "The Greatest American Hero." Check it out! If I did this correctly, you should be able to click here to play in your browser or right click to save & it'll just open up in your iTunes or whatever.

Berkin it UP theme - mp3

(Starring the ghost of Peter Boyle as Josh Berk)


Berkin' it UP Lyrics:
We’re Berking it up, we’re a family of four
Josh’s nemesis Hawkins lives next door
He’s looking for quiet, he’s hoping to write
But she’s driving him nuts, he’s losing the fight

Trish and her dog are always dropping by
The dog takes a dump, Trish eats all his pie


Life’s pretty tough!
When you’re Berking it up!
Berk it up!
Berking it up!

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]bree_despain wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 02:15 am (UTC)
That was freaking hilarious, Berk! Can I guess star sometime as your nitwit assistant who loses your latest manuscript on the way the post office and ends up going on a mad cap adventure, tracking the MS through the entire town (lots of shenanigoats) in order to get it to your crazy, overbearing editor before the deadline? That would be sweet.
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[info]jberkj wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 02:19 am (UTC)
Yeah! That's perfect! SHENANIGOATS!
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[info]lindsey_leavitt wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 03:01 am (UTC)
That song just made my life. My whole entire life. And I think I could be BFF with your wife, although that could just be pregnancy hormones smelling each other out there.
OK, and I'm the trashy little sister who writes erotica involving cows. Bestselling cow love, btw, so there's an undercurrent of jealousy there. I leave my Jersey Home occasionally to visit my big bro, bringing my big hair and wild shenanigoats... er, shenanicows with me. YOUNG shenanigoats. (read: I'm still under thirty! Take that Berk!)
Emmy award for my guest appearances in the future
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[info]jberkj wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 12:14 pm (UTC)
Oh man, that is the greatest idea for shenanicows ever! Early in season #1 you drop by to ask for writing advice, explaining that you have a great idea (cow erotica) and I scoff and claim I'm much too busy to help and that it's the craziest idea ever. Then at the end of season 1, I finally get some peace & quiet, complete my novel, and wait for reviews/sales reports. Then Hawkins brings over the paper that says "Berk debuts at #1!" and I get really excited and start to celebrate. And then she says, "read beyond the headline, jackass" and I see that it says it is the *other* Berk, my big-haired little sis, who has debuted at #1. Your book (Possibly titled "Shenani-Cows") of bovine erotica is a national hit. Hawkins laughs at me hysterically as I stare at the paper and weep.

Emmy for Lindsey for sure!
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[info]trishdoller wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 03:46 am (UTC)
This is great! And Hawkins has given her stamp of approval to my husband who can't turn off the pirate routine when he leaves work for the day.
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[info]jberkj wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
The pirate jokes and "booty" jokes basically write themselves from there.
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[info]jonnyskov wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 05:02 pm (UTC)
can I be the wacky plumber who for some reason always seems to be hanging around, working on the same project forever (think the painter from Murphy Brown meets Kramer)
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[info]jberkj wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 05:21 pm (UTC)
Yeah! We definitely need a wacky plumber. Haha. I love it.
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[info]kderting wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
I'll just be the nanny (for all the berktastic babies) with the Fran Drescher laugh and wearing Alice's maid outfit from the Brady Bunch. But my dirty little secret will be my love of cow-rotica, making me Lindsey's #1 Fan (and closet-stalker).

(Oh, and was that your wife *laughing* at about second 50??? That was awesome!!!)
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[info]jberkj wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
This keeps getting more and more brilliant! Kimberly Derting as the nanny is so awesome. And the plot twist of you secretly being my little sis' fan is also fantastic. Damn!

And yes, I was silently cracking up the whole time Kelly was singing "Berking it up" and then she looked over at me and started giggling. Ha! BTW she recorded the vocals in one take & is 39 weeks pregnant.
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[info]freneticreader.blogspot.com wrote:
Aug. 3rd, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
I would SO watch this show. xD
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[info]seaheidi wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2009 12:56 am (UTC)
!!!! YAY!!!!!
This is either the best reward of the WORST PUNISHMENT for being trapped in CE hell. It's so hilarious--your wife has an awesome voice. Yet I am somehow excluded from the plot???

*weeps*

Also good luck with the baby! Exciting times. Hope everyone is healthy. =)
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[info]seaheidi wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2009 12:57 am (UTC)
OH just saw we can add ourselves in.

Okay, I'm your psycho editor that is super mad that you are passed deadline so I sit on the edge of your bed with a bomb and a stop watch and force you to type. Sort of like Misery.

;)
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[info]jberkj wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2009 01:23 am (UTC)
Haha perfect!
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(Anonymous) wrote:
Aug. 4th, 2009 09:27 pm (UTC)
"Very Special Episode"
Alright, I'll appear in a "very special episode" as the highly successful old college friend who appears to tempt you away from the rest of the Berk family with promises of riches won from fantasy sports. In the end you'll realize that family is most important, and I'll drive my convertible off a cliff to a fiery death while trying to get the score of the WNBA game in which I have Candace Parker starting for my squad at center. The title of the episode will be "Shananigroans."

The Other Chris R.
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(Anonymous) wrote:
Nov. 25th, 2009 12:07 pm (UTC)
De Udder Ear
You need a wise old local, Z. Cohn, who channels livestock. He emigrated from the Catskill Mountains years ago and now lives in a farmhouse converted into several condos. You visit him once each episode, at which time he places his ear next to a cow's stomach and proclaims, e.g., "take my heifer ... please!" He calls this his Udder Ear. Somehow you leave refreshed.
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[info]jberkj wrote:
Nov. 28th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC)
Re: De Udder Ear
I love it.
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( 17 comments — Leave a comment )